Forever
by Lucie - or Lux
Summary: KelNeal. "Is it better to have loved and lost, or to have loved a shadow?"


****

Forever

---------------------------

Neal stood in the doorway, his hands braced on the frame, his eyes watching the rise and fall of her chest as she slept.

Her breathing was shallow and irregular, her face pale and drawn.

How could this have happened?

As if sensing his presence, she woke, her eyelids fluttering open as she slowly turned her head to face him.

"Kel."

The single word he spoke shattered the silence and seemed to hang, suspended, in the air.

She was silent for a moment, then opened her mouth to speak, but the only sound that emerged was a dry, weak cough.

Neal hurried to her side and handed her a glass of water. Once she had sipped the water, she managed to speak.

"I knew you'd come."

"Of course."

Holding her up to drink, Neal was able to examine her with his Gift. Her life-force was flickering, ebbing away. Death was ominously present in her body.

His heart contracted.

No.

No. This could not be real. He knew she had been wounded, but not to the point of death - this wasn't possible. Not for Kel.

She turned to look at him. Examining his face, she spoke again.

"I'm dying."

It was a statement, not a question, but he answered as if it had been. "No. No, you're not. You…you'll be fine. I just need to, to look at you…"

"Don't lie to me, Neal. I've known you too long for you to get away with it. I know I'm dying."

"No." His voice cracked.

"Neal. It's alright. It's my time; I'm ready."

"No, I won't let you." Shaking his head, Neal reached for her with green-glowing hands. Her wounds were bad, but they were not what was killing her. There was something else, something pulsing through her veins, consuming her existence. Poison. One of her wounds had been cut with a poisoned blade, and it was eating at her lungs, her heart, her life. Her touch on his shoulder brought Neal back to reality.

"It's too late, Neal. It was too late when they found me. Please, don't waste your Gift on me. Just, just stay with me. Until…the end."

The tears he had been trying to hold back escaped, coursing down his cheeks. He sobbed quietly into her sheets as she stroked his grey-streaked brown hair.

He sometimes envied her Yamani ability to conceal her emotions. Other times he hated the mask that kept him out. He could rarely see her thoughts, while she read him as easily as she read a book.

Now, however, while her face remained outwardly calm, he could see a torrent of emotions in her eyes. For once, her eyes betrayed her every thought, and for once, her mind was open to him.

Love. Pain. Desire. Struggle. Acceptance. Denial. Even fear.

All these he saw in her eyes.

Taking a deep breath, Neal steadied himself. Kel had always been the one to offset Neal's erratic passions and emotions. Now he had to be the steadfast one, for Kel seemed to be quickly losing control over her mask.

Thinking back over their years together, Neal remembered all the the things that had gone unsaid. Things he never had the chance to say. Things he never had the courage to say. Words that would have, back then, most likely marred their friendship. But now, now he saw this would be his last opportunity.

Was it better to have loved and lost, or to have loved a shadow?

A shadow who never knew the truest feelings in the depths of his heart. A shadow to whom he would always be the 'best friend', and nothing more. A shadow to whom he could never confess this real love, and never know if it was returned.

She gave a small sigh and, her eyes filling with tears, she reached out a trembling hand for his.

Be strong.

He lifted her up and braced her against his chest, clasping his arms around her.

"Don't go, Kel. Don't go somewhere I can't bring you back."

Shafts of reddish-orange light came through the window. The sun was setting, dusk was upon them.

"Neal, I never told you, but – "

"Don't do that. Don't say your goodbyes. Not yet."

The sharp clarity of her face was thrown into relief as the last rays of light fell on the two bodies stretched out on the hospital cot.

"Neal."

With the single word, everything, after so much time, became obvious, and he could no longer stop himself. Leaning over her still frame, Neal gently, hesitantly, pressed his lips to hers.

The single kiss awoke something deep within him. Something that had always been there, hidden beneath friendship and devotion, yet undiminished after so many years.

"Kel," he said, his voice so full of raw emotion that he could hardly get the words out. "You…you're the only one. You always have been. Always will be. Always and forever."

"Forever is a very long time."

"Not for me. Not for you."

She gave a weak smile filled with tenderness. "I'll be waiting."

The light behind her eyes began to fade.

"No, Kel. Don't go without me. Please."

_Love_. Her lips formed the word but no sound came out. Her breath had stopped.

A/N--This fic was originally written in response to a challenge; I messed around with ages, pairings, and time-frame, but none of them are very definate, except for the Kel/Neal pairing I decided to add . Also, so that none of you grammer-enthusiasts will flame me, all sentence fragments are for effect. Really.

Well, there it is. Hope you enjoyed it (well actually, I hope I made you cry, but that's probably just wishful thinking.) Thanks to fantasyfan, for the beta-ing and amazing-osity; and to Starlit Niphredil, as always, for all the "little things" that always add up to make big things.

Now, review, review, review!

Please?


End file.
